Thanksgiving Lesson~"No Man Left Behind"



In Memoriam
My brother Kenneth M. Cohen
September 30, 1949-January 28, 2006
Vietnam Veteran

 As I sat at Eucharist on Thanksgiving Day pondering what kind of Thanksgiving theme I could share for my blog, God gave me the answer during Fr. John's homily.  After sharing a beautiful Thanksgiving poem, he told a personal story of determination, fidelity, and teamwork as a lesson for gratitude. As an Air Force chaplain, he recently ran a Veterans' 5K run in Maryland.  At the start, his environment felt very crowded, but as the youngest, most agile runners forged ahead of him, he became a little less claustrophobic and decided he could now concentrate on racing to the finish line. Ahead of him was a platoon of Marines, all sticking together to the finish line as their sole objective.  The thought occurred to him that his Air Force prowess was just as good or better than their Marine ability.  This spawned his determination to forge ahead even more.  But it became quite clear to him that the Marines were really gaining distance on him and that they were looking younger and younger.  So now his aim was just to MAKE it to the  finish line. Shortly after this resolution, he noticed one of the Marines appeared to be having a little difficulty and was lagging behind his Marine warriors.  Father John mustered up enough speed to catch up with the  Marine to make sure he was alright.  The Marine confirmed he was alright and stated he was determined to catch up with his platoon.  So together, they gave it all they could.  When the Marine platoon ahead of them was about 100 yards from the finish line, they all turned around in unison and started running in the opposite direction.  When they reached their fellow comrade, they assisted him and they all raced victoriously to the finish line.  Father John went on to say that Marines stick together no matter what and they.....at this point, tears came to my eyes, I knew exactly what he was going to say...they "LEAVE NO MAN BEHIND."

The image of my "proud to be a Marine" brother, Kenny, came to mind.  A Vietnam Vet, I never heard him talk of his experience in Vietnam.  In fact, if I asked him what it was like over there, he would always say he couldn't talk about it.  And he made it quite clear that we were never to sneak up on him from behind or awaken him from sleep. The  one thing that he would share was that he was proud to be a Marine and was glad that he had the opportunity to serve his country in the USMC.  His uniform portrait boasted this proud testimony of his military calling.

Throughout Thanksgiving Day, Fr. John's story and Kenny's memory stayed on my mind as I tried to figure out their connection with Thanksgiving.  One of my sisters reminded me of another memory.
On February 6, 2005, my brother David, after almost a two-year trek of battling Stage IV colon cancer, experienced his final hours.  His family, my mother, and all my siblings were at his bedside as he took his last breath and was welcomed into God's peaceful embrace.  We prayed, we wept, we shared beautiful memories.  The nursing staff were all so supportive in allowing us time to say our good-byes.  Most everyone had left, but Kenny and his wife and I were still at David's bedside when the nurse came to tell us that it was going to be about an hour before the caretaker could come to transport David to the funeral home and that they would need to move him to the morgue. Kenny looked at her and said, "I'm not going anywhere, I have to stay with him."  I stepped into my nursing role and explained to Kenny that they might need to get the bed ready for another patient.  He immediately stepped into his "proud to be a Marine" role and said to me, "Sis, I'm not going anywhere, I will not leave a man behind."  So  I talked to the nurse and we stayed at David's bedside until the caretaker arrived.  My lesson in all this is that my brother must have been a hero.  Though he never shared his war experiences with me, I know by his conviction at David's bedside that he probably never left a man behind and I have to wonder if there was a chance that no one left him behind.

Kenny was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer in October of 2005, just eight months after David's death.  Surgery was not an option and he chose not to undergo the difficult path of chemotherapy. His last days and hours were spent in his home with his loving wife; he desired no other option. The day of his death was a repeat performance of our Vigil with David.  Even though he was mostly unresponsive due to the effects of Morphine, we would hold his hand and speak words of love to him to assure him we were present and that he was not alone.  About three hours before he died, my mother was sitting beside him holding his hand.  He opened his eyes, turned to look into her loving eyes and said, "Hi, Mom. I love you."  Those were the last words I heard him say.  He could now go into the arms of God, knowing he was not left behind. I am now aware that we followed his example of leaving no man behind.

So the saying "Once a Marine, always a Marine" holds true in Kenny's life.  He learned that no man is to be left behind and one must always be faithful in this call no matter what. He was faithful to what he was taught and reflected the Marine motto, "Semper Fidelis" (Always Faithful). He left no man behind and we did not leave him behind during his final hours.

My Thanksgiving lesson in all this is not to forget him.  I must be faithful in my calling.   I must be a Good Samaritan and leave no one behind.  I must follow his example of loyalty, conviction for what is right.  I must follow the example of Father John and the Marines of racing toward the finish line of life's purpose and God's purpose.  In the words of St. Paul, "...I continue my pursuit in hope that I may possess it, since I have indeed been taken possession of by Christ Jesus...I continue my pursuit toward the goal, the prize of God's upward calling, in Christ Jesus." (Phil. 3: 12-14)

I believe my brother was a hero.  I believe he made a difference in the world.  President Ronald Regan made the following statement in 1985:
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world.  But, the Marines don't have that problem."  Thank you, Kenny, in making a difference in my life and in all the lives you touched.  You are now with God and I am sure you are reminding him to leave none of us behind.

I think Kenny must have written poetry during his long lonely hours in Vietnam.  Perhaps this kept him alive and sustained him. The following anonymous poem was shared on his Memorial card:

I am the love you cannot see

And all I ask is--look for me.

"Look for me when the Tide is high

And the gulls are wheeling overhead,

When the autumn winds sweep the cloudy sky,

And one by one the leaves are shed.

Look for me when the trees are bare

And the stars are bright in the frosty sky,

When the morning mist hangs on the air

And shorter darker days pass by.

I am there, where the gulf flows

And mullet leap to a silver moon,

Where the insects hum and the tall grass grows

And sunlight warms the afternoon

I am there in the busy street

I take your hand in the city square

In the market place where the people meet

In your quiet room--I am there. 

Way to go, Kenny!  

Ooo-rah!!!!