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| In Memoriam My brother Kenneth M. Cohen September 30, 1949-January 28, 2006 Vietnam Veteran |
The image of my "proud to be a Marine" brother, Kenny, came to mind. A Vietnam Vet, I never heard him talk of his experience in Vietnam. In fact, if I asked him what it was like over there, he would always say he couldn't talk about it. And he made it quite clear that we were never to sneak up on him from behind or awaken him from sleep. The one thing that he would share was that he was proud to be a Marine and was glad that he had the opportunity to serve his country in the USMC. His uniform portrait boasted this proud testimony of his military calling.
Throughout Thanksgiving Day, Fr. John's story and Kenny's memory stayed on my mind as I tried to figure out their connection with Thanksgiving. One of my sisters reminded me of another memory.
On February 6, 2005, my brother David, after almost a two-year trek of battling Stage IV colon cancer, experienced his final hours. His family, my mother, and all my siblings were at his bedside as he took his last breath and was welcomed into God's peaceful embrace. We prayed, we wept, we shared beautiful memories. The nursing staff were all so supportive in allowing us time to say our good-byes. Most everyone had left, but Kenny and his wife and I were still at David's bedside when the nurse came to tell us that it was going to be about an hour before the caretaker could come to transport David to the funeral home and that they would need to move him to the morgue. Kenny looked at her and said, "I'm not going anywhere, I have to stay with him." I stepped into my nursing role and explained to Kenny that they might need to get the bed ready for another patient. He immediately stepped into his "proud to be a Marine" role and said to me, "Sis, I'm not going anywhere, I will not leave a man behind." So I talked to the nurse and we stayed at David's bedside until the caretaker arrived. My lesson in all this is that my brother must have been a hero. Though he never shared his war experiences with me, I know by his conviction at David's bedside that he probably never left a man behind and I have to wonder if there was a chance that no one left him behind.
Kenny was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer in October of 2005, just eight months after David's death. Surgery was not an option and he chose not to undergo the difficult path of chemotherapy. His last days and hours were spent in his home with his loving wife; he desired no other option. The day of his death was a repeat performance of our Vigil with David. Even though he was mostly unresponsive due to the effects of Morphine, we would hold his hand and speak words of love to him to assure him we were present and that he was not alone. About three hours before he died, my mother was sitting beside him holding his hand. He opened his eyes, turned to look into her loving eyes and said, "Hi, Mom. I love you." Those were the last words I heard him say. He could now go into the arms of God, knowing he was not left behind. I am now aware that we followed his example of leaving no man behind.
So the saying "Once a Marine, always a Marine" holds true in Kenny's life. He learned that no man is to be left behind and one must always be faithful in this call no matter what. He was faithful to what he was taught and reflected the Marine motto, "Semper Fidelis" (Always Faithful). He left no man behind and we did not leave him behind during his final hours.
My Thanksgiving lesson in all this is not to forget him. I must be faithful in my calling. I must be a Good Samaritan and leave no one behind. I must follow his example of loyalty, conviction for what is right. I must follow the example of Father John and the Marines of racing toward the finish line of life's purpose and God's purpose. In the words of St. Paul, "...I continue my pursuit in hope that I may possess it, since I have indeed been taken possession of by Christ Jesus...I continue my pursuit toward the goal, the prize of God's upward calling, in Christ Jesus." (Phil. 3: 12-14)
I believe my brother was a hero. I believe he made a difference in the world. President Ronald Regan made the following statement in 1985:
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem." Thank you, Kenny, in making a difference in my life and in all the lives you touched. You are now with God and I am sure you are reminding him to leave none of us behind.
I think Kenny must have written poetry during his long lonely hours in Vietnam. Perhaps this kept him alive and sustained him. The following anonymous poem was shared on his Memorial card:
I am the love you cannot see
And all I ask is--look for me.
"Look for me when the Tide is high
And the gulls are wheeling overhead,
When the autumn winds sweep the cloudy sky,
And one by one the leaves are shed.
Look for me when the trees are bare
And the stars are bright in the frosty sky,
When the morning mist hangs on the air
And shorter darker days pass by.
I am there, where the gulf flows
And mullet leap to a silver moon,
Where the insects hum and the tall grass grows
And sunlight warms the afternoon
I am there in the busy street
I take your hand in the city square
In the market place where the people meet
In your quiet room--I am there.
Way to go, Kenny!
Ooo-rah!!!!
