"Delicious Autumn"

"Delicious Autumn!

My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird

I would fly about the earth seeking successive autumns."

~George Elliot



For the past week, I have tasted "delicious autumn" as I gazed on the brilliant golden hue of this tree outside my bedroom window.  It's almost as if I cannot let its presence out of my sight.  I am drawn into God's Presence, without words, without thoughts, and without the need to justify the time sitting and gazing on this awesome icon of God's beauty.  My only thought this morning as this life-giving tree situated itself in my line of vision was "O tree of beauty, where have you been?  How come I have not noticed your illuminated presence before this week?"  Then it dawned on me that I recently rearranged the furniture in my room so that my chair now faces the window, thus framing this beautiful autumn portrait. 

In one of my favorite books, The Circle of Life, by Joyce Rupp and Macrina Wiederkehr, the season of autumn "stands as an epiphany to the truth that all things are passing and even in the passing there is beauty..  Autumn is a wonderful metaphor for the transformation that takes place in the human heart each season...Autumn speaks of connection and yearning, wisdom and aging, transformation and surrender, emerging shadows, and most of all, mystery." (p.166, 168)

The Autumn landscape invites me inward to ponder the turning points in my life.  How lively is my soul at this point of my life?  What are my areas of darkness?  What are my colors?  How do I need to grow into the Tree of Life I am called to be?

As my heart absorbs the various fall hues of red, yellow, brown, and lime green nestled against the contrast of the hearty evergreen pine, cedar, and magnolia trees and already barren branches that announce the approaching season of winter, I am fully aware of all four seasons.

My beautiful autumn leaves will disappear, but deep within the roots of their home, new life is stirring that will gift me with the luscious, vibrant Easter green hues of spring.  This barren time will invite me to die to old ways and birth new possibilities for inner growth.  In the words of Macrina Wiederkehr (The Circle of Life, p. 173-174),"I am listening to a call for inner growth, to my need to let go of material possessions, to my need to reach out for invisible gifts.  I am listening to a call for transformation."

This Tree of Glorious Light on which I gaze reminds me of the following words of St. Benedict:

"What ...is more delightful than this voice of the Lord calling to us?  See how the Lord in his love shows us the way of life."(Rule of St. Benedict, Prologue 19-20) This Tree of Love reveals Jesus' Paschal Mystery to me as the colors of my leaves change with the dailiness and seasons of my life to become the Tree of Love that I am called to be. 

My heart knows that my favorite yellow leaves will soon start falling to the ground and that God will be inviting me to surrender and enter into deeper transformation, so that new seeds of generativity will blossom forth my beautiful yellow leaves again next year.  And I will be sure to have my chair facing the window!!!

"Bless the Lord, O my soul.

O Lord, my God, you are very great.

You are clothed with honor and majesty,

wrapped in light as with a garment."

~Psalm 104: 1-2