"The Rest of the Story"

Postscript to yesterday's blog- "Angel at the Super Bowl"

(must read blog of February 4, 2012)

What a game!!!! The Patriots tried so hard the last 50 seconds or so to score a touchdown to beat the Giants.  Yet, for most of the game they were ahead.  I felt a real adrenalin rush at their last-ditched effort to come through for the win and heard myself shouting for Dave to help them out.  Believe it or not, I shed a little tear for their loss, but I think I heard Dave say, "Sis, it's allright, the score shows they are BOTH the best.  And don't forget, I was in New York for several years and attended a few Giants' games. Though I love the Patriots, I'm OK with the Giants winning since they were part of my life too."

David M. Cohen
In Memoriam
February 6, 2005
Our Super Bowl Angel

I celebrated with you this night
you coaxed me to the Super Bowl
your most favorite delight.
Your beautiful face with Stetson hat
I did not see
but never mind that
my heart felt your presence.
Tell God thanks
for all of us!
We love you and miss you so much!
So we promise
to meet you every year at the Super Bowl
and we know one day that you will meet us at the gates of the Real Super Bowl.

From Mom and all your brothers and sisters



Angel at the Super Bowl

             Super Bowl Sunday is always a special event for me and my family.  At the forefront of this ultimate sports extravaganza, is the memory of our dear brother David.  He loved the Super Bowl.  As generous and hard-working as he was (coming to our rescue if we had a flat tire, electrical problem, illness, or ANY request), all time stopped on Super Bowl Sunday.  What makes Super Bowl Sunday so special for us is that David died on Super Bowl Sunday in 2005 after a heroic eighteen-month fight with cancer.  My sister Frances recalls that, as she and her husband were visiting with him just two nights before he died, David was already anticipating the Super Bowl and hoping that the New England Patriots would win.  As we were gathered at his bedside during his last hours, we coaxed him on to his heavenly journey, reminding him that he would have the “best seat in the house” to watch the game.  He died right before the start of the game.  The Patriots came through for him, 24-21, against the Philadelphia Eagles.

             I am certain that David journeyed to heaven by way of Jacksonville, Florida, so he could watch the Patriots’ victory.  After all, Pensacola is much closer to Jacksonville than Heaven and I can just hear David telling God, “First things, first!”  I know of this tenacity from my brother Steve and their working buddies as they share stories of their time working together on power plant startups in New York. Steve speaks of their travelling the subway systems in New York.  He paints a picture of David wearing “his Stetson black hat and handcuff on his belt and carrying a throw down wallet (an empty wallet he was prepared to throw down and run in case it looked like he was in imminent danger of being mugged) as we followed him through Penn Station and it was like the parting of the sea but he was always so polite: ‘How you doing?’ ‘Good Day!’  He was always smiling comfortably in his skin; he just was unafraid.” His license plate even reflected this spirit- NO GRIEF.

            The Patriots will be playing again in this year’s Super Bowl in Indianapolis.  My sister Lynn got “goosebumps” when she heard this.  Though I am not that much of a football fan, all time will stop for me and I will be watching this game. Why? Because I know Angel David will be there.  He has probably already convinced God of his need to be present for the Patriots and he most likely has successfully won permission to bring his mentor and good friend, Bob Libbey, my brother Kenny who followed him to heaven almost a year later, and any other heavenly Super Bowl buddies with him.  And I know all his New York buddies still here on earth, Robert, Walker, Bob, Rick, Mike, Blue, and Ken, will join him to cheer the Patriots on the road to victory.  I am sure there is one SUPER-DUPER tail-gaiting party already going on in heaven at this moment and throughout the night.

New York Work Crew:
left to right
Robert Frady, Walker Anderson, Dave Cohen, Steve Cohen, Bob Libbey, Rick Cotton,
Mike Owens, Blue Larry, Ken Orange

 Tune in tomorrow evening for

“rest of the story!”

“…but this one thing I do:

forgetting what lies behind and straining forward

to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal

for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus.”  Phil. 3: 13-14

from Memorial Card

DAVID M. COHEN

February 6, 2005

“Grieve not…

nor speak of me with tears…

but laugh

and talk with me

as though I were beside you.

I loved you so…

‘twas Heaven

here with you.”

“You are most cordially invited

to join me at the Super Bowl

February 5, 2012.

 See ya’ll there!!!!

Love,

Dave

           

Forever On My Heart

 

If Emmy awards were given for TV commercials, I would have to submit my vote for Johnson and Johnson’s 2011 television advertisements as part of its Campaign for Nursing’s Future in an effort to address the nursing shortage.  The commercials’ message to the public is to portray nursing expertise and emotional support to patients.  Each commercial ends with the message “Nurses Heal.”  There are two of these commercials that bring tears to my eyes and place me in a soul searching mode as I reflect on my own nursing ministry.

 

One of the commercials portrays a male nurse sitting at the bedside of a pediatric patient whose name is Emma.  As he is preparing to administer her chemo, she is gazing at him with her beautiful eyes, waiting for him to start their poem song as he administers the chemo.  Together they sing: “Emma, emma, bo-bemma, banana-fanna, fo-femma, fee-fi-fo-femma…Emma!  While the nurse is seen putting skill to practice, he is also seen as utilizing psychosocial skills in putting Emma at ease.

Another commercial highlights an ER nurse caring for a trauma patient.  As the patient’s clothes are cut off, the contents of his pocket fall onto the stretcher.  The nurse spots a large metal shamrock charm on a key ring.  After the patient is stabilized, the nurse approaches the ventilated patient and places the charm in his hand.

Every time I see these commercials, I take a few moments to recall experiences where I have sat at the patient’s bedside with an attentive and caring heart.  In the above two commercials, the nurse is present to only the one patient.  I know the chemo nurse has other patients he is caring for also, and the ER nurse probably has several other trauma patients as well. 

 

Throughout our health care experience, we probably all have memories of patients who have touched our hearts in a special way because of unexpected consequences in their plan of care.  Sometimes it seems that it is the emergent situations that often bring out the compassionate side of our hearts, although we don’t realize it until after the fact.

 

We all know that the worst of the unpredictable always crops up during our extremely busy shifts.  My first encounter of this realization occurred just three months after I had graduated from St. Vincent’s  School of Nursing in 1974 (yes, I’ve been a nurse for a long time).  I was working 3-11 on the old 3 East post-surgical unit. As I was making rounds, I was called to the bedside of a woman who was three days post-op for abdominal surgery.  She was undergoing a post-op complication I had certainly learned about in nursing school, but I definitely became quite frazzled that this unexpected complication was occurring on my watch.  I notified her surgeon, booked a bed for the OR, and proceeded to prepare her for her return to surgery.  When I sat at her bedside to inform her she would be returning to surgery, she was actually calmer about it than I was.  She looked into my eyes and said “Don’t worry; everything is going to be all right.”  She grabbed my hand and we just sat there, waiting for her family to arrive.  The OR tech came to take her to surgery around 8:45 pm.  I took her by the hand, looked into her eyes and told her God would be with her and that I would see her when she got back.  As I got busy finishing up my shift, giving my taped report, and thinking about her every breathing moment, I made up my mind that I would wait for her to return before I went home at 11:15.  I clocked out and waited. I was still waiting at 12:15 and then started getting worried.  The family was getting worried also, so I sat with them and tried to reassure them that if something went wrong, I knew the surgeon would let them know.  I took them to the waiting room and told them I would go try to find out something.  Just then, the surgeon walked in, surprised I was still there.  I told him I was determined to see her when she got back to the floor.  He explained he was going to keep her in ICU overnight and that everything went well.  After he spoke with the family, he walked me out to the parking lot.  The patient was on my mind as I went to bed and when I awoke the next morning.  When I returned to work that evening, I went to see her.  She looked wonderful and I felt wonderful.  I have thought of her on many occasions throughout my career and have often used this memory for teaching purposes.  She will forever be on my heart.

Fast forward to 2011, the week before Christmas, I was assigned to another patient with post-op complications from abdominal surgery. When he was informed he would be going back to surgery, he began crying.  All I could do was hold his hand; I couldn’t think of anything to say.  Finally, God gave me the prayerful words of His love and compassion for this patient’s solace and healing.  I stayed with him until OR arrived, and as he left told him I would be praying for him.  While I was with him before surgery, it seemed as if time had stopped and that he was my only concern at the time.  I was not thinking about my other patients.  I believe God must have been taking care of my other patients, since no one seemed to be looking for me while I was being present to this one patient.  After he left for surgery, I got very busy again, but none of the patients seemed to have missed me.

 

The surgeon said the patient would be going to ICU after surgery.  That was my last day to work until after New Year’s.  I left work knowing that I would not be able to see him.  I remember his name and I don’t feel I will ever forget it.  I have prayed for him daily during Morning and Evening Prayer, at Christmas Midnight Mass, and I put his “initials” on the Monastery prayer list.  When I returned to work on January 5, I did not see his name on the unit’s census list, I did not search for his location, and I did not hear anyone mention his name.  I still remember his name and I still pray for him and his wife every morning and evening.  Wherever he is, he will be Forever On My Heart.

   

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“Very often I feel like a little pencil in God’s hand.      He does the writing; he does the thinking; he does the movement-      I have only to be a pencil and nothing else.”      ~Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta, Total Surrender

 

 

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The Wonderful Gift of Family

"When they had finished everything required by the law of the Lord, they returned to Galilee, to their own town of Nazareth. The child grew and became strong, filled with wisdom; and the favor of God was upon him." Luke 2: 40

On this the sixth day of Christmas, we celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family.  In Luke 2: 40, Mary and Joseph bring Jesus to the temple for his consecration to the Lord as prescribed by law.  The Holy Family is approached by Simeon and Anna who recognize God’s Light in Jesus as gift to the world.  Simeon proclaimed to Mary “Behold, this child is destined for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be contradicted-and you yourself a sword will pierce-so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.” Luke 2: 34-35.  

When I listen to these words, I can see Mary and Joseph with a perplexed countenance as to the meaning of this message.  What were they thinking? Did they understand?  It seems that they were called to keep pondering their call in the Incarnation Mystery.  Were their hearts heavy as they returned with Jesus to Galilee?  They probably travelled on in silence and humbly resolved to fulfill God’s plan so that “the child grew and became strong, filled with wisdom; and the favor of God was upon him”(Luke 2:40) and Mary and Joseph too.

The Holy Family puts before us the image of community in family living.  At Eucharist this morning, Father Joel shared that “life begins in family.”  It is in family that we learn to live, love, and share our inner life with others.  Our immediate family life molds us to generate extended family life, either in married life or religious community life.  As I took time to thank God for my parents and my brothers and sisters, a wave of beautiful memories surfaced:

My mother’s attentive, caring, presence as she watched us take our first steps,

recorded our first word,

walked with us on the first day of school,

nursed us when we were sick,

made sure we ate together as a family EVERY night,

went to bat for us if there was a teacher-student conflict,

sacrificed her own needs so that we would have school clothes and books each year, 

hosted our birthday and graduation parties,

travelled with me when I entered the Monastery,

sat as Mother of Sorrows as two of my brothers lay dying,

and the list goes on and on. 

In other words, whenever there is a family celebration, whenever there is an unexpected or sad event, she has been right there with her heart wide open in love.

My parents on their Wedding Day
What were they pondering within their hearts?

I think of my father also, always faithful to his parental duties in our early years as he supported my mother in the raising of nine children,

diligently worked to support us,

insisted we be on time at the supper table,

helped us with homework,

took us on family outings such as the circus, the zoo, drive-in movies in the family station wagon dressed in our pajamas with plenty of popcorn and soda,

and going to Church every Sunday and getting there on time to make sure we sat in our regular pew (the Cohen Family pew).

I think of all my brothers and sisters and thank God for all the love they have shown me and am thankful for all the love I have been able to gift to them.  I thank God for their part in generating new life- for bringing so many nieces and nephews into the world for me to love.  I thank God for all my nieces and nephews who are now bringing forth more new life- all the grand nieces and nephews.

Life does indeed blossom forth from the Holy Family.  In our daily prayer with the Scripture readings of Jesus' life, we are formed and steeped into the qualities needed for holy family life-love, respect, kindness, consideration, generosity, humility, obedience and sacrificial service.  How can we not follow their example of community?  How can we better grow and become strong, be filled with wisdom, and definitely know that the favor of God is upon us also?"

My own holy family life fashioned me in preparation for my monastic family life.  St. Benedict, in his Rule, addresses parameters for a holy family life in community.  He insists on punctuality at prayers and meals, obedience to the Abbot and mutual obedience, humility, proper  order of work and prayer, proper care of the sick, and correction of faults. In Chapter 72 of the Rule, The Good Zeal of Monks, St. Benedict presents an exemplary model for holy family living, whether secular or monastic:  "This, then, is the good zeal which monks must foster with fervent love: They should each try to be the first to show respect to the other (Rom. 12:10), supporting with the greatest patience one another's weaknesses of body or behavior, and earnestly competing in obedience to one another.  No one is to pursue what he judges better for himself, but instead, what he judges better for someone else.  To their fellow monks they show the pure love of brothers; to God, loving fear; to their abbot, unfeigned and humble love.  Let them prefer nothing whatever to Christ, and may he bring us all together to everlasting life."  (Rule of St. Benedict, Ch. 72: 3-12.

What else is there to say about the wonderful gift of family?  There is probably so much more, but the important thing is to thank God for all the memories, good and sad, and in this remembering, the heart is softened to continue to grow the holiness of family life.

Sacred Heart Monastery
Monastic Community
Christmas Day 2011

The Cohen Family

 "Today the Church calls our attention

to not simply the importance of family life,

but the necessity that our families be holy.

Holiness is discovered in the realization that our lives are not about ourselves,

but are meant as a gift for others.

The families that embody this radiant gift of self to each other

imitate the Holy Family of Christ."

~Fr. Robert Barron

Sermon 468

"What Makes a Holy Family"

http://wordonfire.org

What Day Is Christmas?

In my toddler years, before I learned to read a calendar or had developed a sense of time, I’m sure I must have asked my mother “What day is Christmas?”  I am sure I hear her instructive words to this day: “Christmas always falls on December 25 and it is preceded by four weeks of Advent as a special time to prepare for Christ’s birth.  We do not put up the Christmas tree, the manger scene, or any other decorations until December 15.  The Advent wreath is the only decoration for right now and we will light a candle for each week of Advent.  When the fourth candle is lighted, then you will know that Christmas is only a week away.” 

The season of Advent has always been a welcome invitation to immerse myself deeper into the Light of God’s Presence, especially in my monastic years.  I think of St. Benedict’s words from the Prologue of his Rule: “What is more delightful than this voice of the Holy One calling to us?” (Prologue: 19).  The rich liturgical readings of Advent emphatically begin with the exhortation of vigilance: “Be watchful! Be alert! ... Watch, therefore; you do not know when the lord of the house is coming…May he not come suddenly and find you sleeping” (Mark 13: 33, 35-36).  The Isaiah readings heard throughout the weeks of Advent rouse a commitment within the heart to cultivate a contemplative preparation for the re-birthing of Christ.

“O house of Jacob, come, let us walk in the light of the Lord.” (Isaiah 2:5)

 “On that day, a shoot shall sprout from the stump of Jesse

And from his roots a bud shall blossom.” (Isaiah 11:1)

 “How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of one bringing good news,

Announcing peace, bearing good news, announcing salvation, saying to Zion,

Your God is King!”  (Isaiah 52:7)

“A voice cries out: In the desert prepare the way of the Lord!

Make straight in the wasteland a highway for our God!

Every valley shall be filled in, every mountain and hill shall be made low…

Then the glory of the Lord shall be revealed,

And all people shall see it together.” (Isaiah 40:3-5)

“Be strong, fear not!

Here is your God, he comes with vindication;

With divine recompense he comes to save you.

Then will the eyes of the blind be opened, the ears of the deaf be cleared;

Then will the lame leap like a stag, then the tongue of the mute will sing.” (Isaiah 35:4-6)

These readings ignite the child-like anticipation of Christmas.  It is one thing to know Christmas is coming, but in later years, it is quite another thing to keep up the momentum of staying with the

Mystery of it all.  Although there were four full weeks of Advent this year, it wasn’t long before I started swerving off Expectation Road.  My regular horarium, ministry, and occasional assignments not on my “To Do” list, combined with Christmas preparations (prayer services, shopping, coordinating special work lists, decorating, and two unexpected out of town trips) monopolized my time the first three weeks of Advent.  With the sudden arrival of the fourth week of Advent, I was awakened from my “slumber” as we sang the following hymn at Morning Prayer:

“See how the Virgin waits for him:

Mary in wonder waits for him.

Shake off your slumber: come all full of wonder.

Jesus is coming as the Prince of Peace.

Gently she hears the distant breeze swaying the silver olive trees.

What is she thinking as the sun is sinking,

Waiting the birthday of her first-born Son?

Now a new pattern on the loom;

Now a new presence in the room.

Waking or sleeping, all her love she’s keeping,

Waiting the coming of the Son of God.

Slovak Folk Melody, Willard F. Jabusch

OCP, 1967

In the Gospel passages for the final week of Advent, Mary’s expectation and preparations for Jesus’ coming into the world took center stage.  Even though very much perplexed at her call to become the Mother of God, she resigned herself to fulfilling God’s plan in birthing the Son of God to the world.  She quietly pondered this challenge in her heart as she gratefully sang:

“My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord,

my spirit rejoices in God my Savior

for he has looked with favor on his lowly servant.”

 (Luke 1: 46-48)

For two days I pondered as Mary did the meaning of the Christmas Mystery about to transpire.  But it wasn’t long before I got busy with last minute Christmas preparations.  The words of Thomas Merton kept surfacing in my heart: “People in the world think the monastery is so calm and peaceful, but in reality, there is much activity inside these walls.” (Paraphrased, do not recall source) I strived to get all this “holy” business done so I could get back to pondering the coming of Christ in my heart, but was still quite active until the afternoon of Christmas Eve.  Midnight Mass proved to be solemn and my prayer wordless with the faith that I was embraced with the Mystery, a prayer that has no words, an unfathomable encounter with the Divine.  I gazed at the Nativity scene in the sanctuary after Mass, also a wordless encounter of the Divine, a faithful acceptance of the Mystery that must be lived daily all the days of my life.

As I awoke the next morning, realizing how tired I was, I resolved to renew my efforts in celebrating the events of Christmas day.  A few more last minute details consumed my energy in preparation for Mass, dinner, Community Christmas party, and Vespers, all beautiful, all holy, and enjoyed by all.  After all the blessed activities of the day, I was free to savor the evening hours as I relaxed in the recliner to gaze on the lights of the Christmas tree, while watching the Concordia Christmas concert on PBS.  As I went to bed, I knew I would awaken on the Feast of St. Stephen, December 26 with no specific duties and that this would be my Christmas Day this year. 

So yesterday I took time to re-read and pray with the Christmas Mass readings and contemplate the meaning of Christmas for me at this time of my life.  I came across a quote from a book, A Child in Winter (Caryl Houselander/Thomas Hoffman):

“The light from our Advent vigil now shines and draws crowds.

Our Lady keeps us connected to Advent,

But the way of the shepherds points forward-

To seek and to share what we have seen.”

(Hoffman)

 The journey of Christmas continues in the daily call of staying connected to the reality of the Advent and Christmas Scripture readings, internalizing the Word within me, and proclaiming Mary’s Canticle each evening as I pray with my Sisters.  Even though I may occasionally get distracted in following the Expectation Road, I know that every day is Christmas. Christmas is celebrated for 12 days in the liturgical cycle, but really 40 days, up until February 2, The Presentation of the Lord in the Temple.  So this being the third day of Christmas and if every day is Christmas, I still have 362 days left to celebrate the Christmas Mystery.

 

“The Christ is our dream come true.

This is the wholeness of God’s love made flesh.

He is beautiful and he is ours.

Come, let us adore.”

~Caryll Houselander, A Child in Winter

"Delicious Autumn"

"Delicious Autumn!

My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird

I would fly about the earth seeking successive autumns."

~George Elliot



For the past week, I have tasted "delicious autumn" as I gazed on the brilliant golden hue of this tree outside my bedroom window.  It's almost as if I cannot let its presence out of my sight.  I am drawn into God's Presence, without words, without thoughts, and without the need to justify the time sitting and gazing on this awesome icon of God's beauty.  My only thought this morning as this life-giving tree situated itself in my line of vision was "O tree of beauty, where have you been?  How come I have not noticed your illuminated presence before this week?"  Then it dawned on me that I recently rearranged the furniture in my room so that my chair now faces the window, thus framing this beautiful autumn portrait. 

In one of my favorite books, The Circle of Life, by Joyce Rupp and Macrina Wiederkehr, the season of autumn "stands as an epiphany to the truth that all things are passing and even in the passing there is beauty..  Autumn is a wonderful metaphor for the transformation that takes place in the human heart each season...Autumn speaks of connection and yearning, wisdom and aging, transformation and surrender, emerging shadows, and most of all, mystery." (p.166, 168)

The Autumn landscape invites me inward to ponder the turning points in my life.  How lively is my soul at this point of my life?  What are my areas of darkness?  What are my colors?  How do I need to grow into the Tree of Life I am called to be?

As my heart absorbs the various fall hues of red, yellow, brown, and lime green nestled against the contrast of the hearty evergreen pine, cedar, and magnolia trees and already barren branches that announce the approaching season of winter, I am fully aware of all four seasons.

My beautiful autumn leaves will disappear, but deep within the roots of their home, new life is stirring that will gift me with the luscious, vibrant Easter green hues of spring.  This barren time will invite me to die to old ways and birth new possibilities for inner growth.  In the words of Macrina Wiederkehr (The Circle of Life, p. 173-174),"I am listening to a call for inner growth, to my need to let go of material possessions, to my need to reach out for invisible gifts.  I am listening to a call for transformation."

This Tree of Glorious Light on which I gaze reminds me of the following words of St. Benedict:

"What ...is more delightful than this voice of the Lord calling to us?  See how the Lord in his love shows us the way of life."(Rule of St. Benedict, Prologue 19-20) This Tree of Love reveals Jesus' Paschal Mystery to me as the colors of my leaves change with the dailiness and seasons of my life to become the Tree of Love that I am called to be. 

My heart knows that my favorite yellow leaves will soon start falling to the ground and that God will be inviting me to surrender and enter into deeper transformation, so that new seeds of generativity will blossom forth my beautiful yellow leaves again next year.  And I will be sure to have my chair facing the window!!!

"Bless the Lord, O my soul.

O Lord, my God, you are very great.

You are clothed with honor and majesty,

wrapped in light as with a garment."

~Psalm 104: 1-2





The Oratory of the Heart

The Oratory of the Heart

poem written on the 80^th anniversary of the

Dedication of Sacred Heart Monastery Chapel,

Cullman, Alabama

How majestic and inviting this Sacred Space

that daily calls me to ever deeper wonder.

 

 

 Its firm foundation and soaring heights,

its rays of stained glass jeweled beauty,

have gifted Sacred Presence and peace to all who enter its welcoming portal.

For 80 years, hearts have burst

into magnificent chants of praise and gratitude

for God’s ever present love.

For 80 years, hearts have celebrated

God’s call to grow deeper in love,

to pray God’s mystery of love,

to contemplate the meaning

of one’s awesome call.

For 80 years, hearts have come together to celebrate

entrance into new life,

profession and renewal of commitment to monastic life,

the ongoing journey of good times and bad times,

the ending of earthly life to the beginning of heavenly embrace.

Grateful I am

for the Sisters who created this architectural masterpiece

that still stands as a beacon of light, 

 God’s holy dwelling place of love and peace

to all who enter its glorious embrace.

The oratory of my heart knows

that this majestic foundation

 will continue to stand
in spite of torrents of mighty winds

because it is built on the faithful

foundation of the daily song

of God’s love together.

~Sister Priscilla Cohen, OSB

"The oratory ought to be what it is called,
and nothing else
is to be done or stored there."
~Rule of St. Benedict, Ch. 52: 1